Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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