Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
