Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
