PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
my shit smells like andre
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
