i would punch a child for taco bell
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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