i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
