New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize