his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
