is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
