Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
