She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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