my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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