She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
