So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
