But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
