The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
