Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
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Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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