ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
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Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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