is your mom at the bar?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
