When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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