Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
