only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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