im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
