but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
