her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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