haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
