whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Randomize
