So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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