If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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