we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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