I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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