found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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