so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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