dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
