Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
