he told me I talked like a deaf person
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize