i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
