Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
