she woke up with a sticky ear
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
