Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
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Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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