Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
