Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
