i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you inspire me to be a worse person
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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