No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
tell me about the eggs
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
