I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
