I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
