nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
