I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
