I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
