new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
