Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
