paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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