I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
