i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
