just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
