and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Watching her eat just hurts me
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
