Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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