he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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