ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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