You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
