Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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