that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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